I got married about a month ago, after living with Jeff for almost 20 years. Marriage was something we discussed from time to time, but neither of us really cared too much about it. Sure, it would be nice, but was it worth the hassle of wedding planning? Not so much. So imagine my surprise to find myself married now. It all began when Jeff asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him I wanted a trip to the dentist.

See, Jeff has insurance and I do not. A trip to the dentist always felt out of reach, due to the incredibly high costs. I just made do by taking care of my teeth to the best of my abilities and hoping no dental catastrophes arose.

Well, a catastrophe has arisen and I need to get to a dentist. So I thought that instead of spending birthday money on stuff that would collect dust or help me to become a better housewife (ack!), I decided I'd rather spend money on some dental work. Instead, Jeff said, "Why don't we just get married so I can put you on my insurance? You need medical insurance anyway, and we're getting to a point where we should probably merge accounts. We need to start thinking about what would happen to the other one if one of us dies?"

I couldn't argue with that, so we threw together a really cool little wedding, just the kind we've always talked about ... barefoot in the Florida sand. Fortunately, we live in a resort community with a groovy little serenity garden, and all of our friends and neighbors came together to donate the use of their plants and wind chimes to decorate the garden for the day. One couple donated their services as photographers, and another couple made the cake and gifted us with enough champagne for a cake and champagne toast afterwards.

It was such an incredible day ... more powerful and magical than I ever dreamed possible. Now, like the flip of a switch, I'm married, my name has been changed (after 48 years ... gonna take a while to get used to that!!!) and I have insurance. Just like that.

Weeks later, after we settled back into regular life again, I was thinking about how strange it is that in order to access medical care, I had to jump through these bureaucratic hoops and it all seemed so very silly and arbitrary. I thought to myself, "They should just make a way where you can get insurance with your life partner." And then it occurred to me, like a smack in the face with a cold, wet mackerel, "There IS a way. You get married."

Duh.

Okay, I guess I can see the sense in that. Fine, I'll jump through the hoops if that's what it takes to show that I'm committed to the person supplying me with insurance. I guess I can understand that extending insurance to someone who changes partners every six months or so would invite problems. So, yeah, I'll give them that one.

But remember the couple I mentioned who made the cake and supplied the champagne for my wedding? They are a lesbian couple. They have been together just as long as Jeff and I have. They have a life together just like we do. They are just regular old people, not sexual deviants. And yet they can not get married. They can't even have a non-religious civil ceremony so they can share some sort of legal rights to their assets or benefits.

I've never really understood this. Isn't our country founded on a separation of church and state? And isn't the main objection to the gay lifestyle a religious one? Whether your religion has indoctrinated you to believe that homosexuality is deviant or not, your religious views have no place in our government and its law-making procedures.

At the very least, gay couples should be allowed the benefit of civil commitment ceremonies. I can see where legislating "marriage," which implies a religious ritual, crosses the line of church and state. But come on. What could anyone possibly have against a ceremony that simply confers legal rights to two human beings who love each other enough to want to take care of each other?

I think Jesus would agree. But, hey, that's just my personal religious belief.